OK I'm starting to freak out just a little bit.
I'm not worried about labour, I'm preparing myself and it seems easier this time around because I know what to expect. I know its going to hurt like HELL but I also know when I get to hold him it won't matter how many hours it took to have him. I also know that time goes by so fast in there! 15 hours with Alex didn't really seem that long.
I'm not worried about bringing him home and the work of raising him. Again I know what to expect and have high hopes that things will be simpler and easier this time. If only because, just like labour, I know what to expect. So I know there will be no sleep, and for the first 6 weeks I'll have a hungry little guy who will be eating whenever he is awake. I have more experience this time so Joseph will have a soother in his mouth in the hospital, unlike with Alex, I will not be a human pacifier for poor little Joey. But I will be as committed to breastfeeding and hope that I am better prepared and have more experience so I won't have any problems this time.
So the real reason I'm freaking out... We are not ready for him! Emotionally, psychologically, mentally, we are ready in all those ways. But if the poor little guy were to be born tomorrow her would not have any clean clothes, no crib to sleep in, no diapers, no completed room, NOTHING!! I'm being compulsive and neurotic, I know this and try as I might I can't help it. With Alex I was 5 months pregnant and her room was completely set up. We had diapers waiting patiently, and clothes we had were perfectly washed with the right detergent. I remember with joy, sitting on the floor in her room, quietly going through all her little gadgets and nicknack's. Poor Joseph has some rubber maid containers and a garbage bag full of garbage in the middle of his floor. All his clothes are in rubber maid containers, all new ones still have the tags on them.
So we have established that I am nesting. Being at home all the time amplifies this instinct I think. I have to find a way to get past it because if I ask my poor overworked, overtired husband one more time "When are we going to start his room?" I'm sure he will lock me out of the house, or tape my mouth shut. So there has been no progress as of yet. Life is getting in the way of doing anything. Pat needs advice from his very smart carpenter friend and for the past month we've been trying to get together with him and his family. First Alex was sick with Croup, then Eric was sick, then Alex had her stomach virus, the H1N1 so every time we make plans they get canceled. But hopefully we will get together soon, not just because of the room though, also because we enjoy Eric and Amanda's company and we haven't had a visit with them since Alex's birthday party.
So to make myself useful and try to ease some of the nesting instinct crap I started some painting. Just painting the window trim white and fixing the paint spots on the ceiling. It didn't take me long but I felt better afterwards. I'm going to fill some holes tonight or tomorrow. And on Wednesday my very helpful and nice step-mom, Jo, is going to come over and help me paint. We can only do 3 walls, cause the other will be ripped down. But at least 60% of the room will be done! And when that is done I can hang some pictures and the window hangings too! Well I might have to wait until we are done the drywall work but it will give me something to look forward too ;)
Everything else is moving along quite nicely. I have to go in for my Rhogam injection sometime this week. Nothing serious its just a precaution because I have Rh-Neg blood and both Alex and Pat have A+ blood so that chances are Joseph will have A+ blood too. I am sad to report I still have not gained a pound :(. I go next Thursday for my prenatal so we will see how I measure week to week. Joseph is growing in leaps and bounds it seems. Well that's what my ever expanding stomach is telling me. If its even possible he is moving more and more every day!
There will be more ultrasound pictures on Thursday. Have a great week!
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